I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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