have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
