it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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