those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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