; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize