he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
