time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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