nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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