She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
did you just send me my own nude
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
