How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
And then my night got REAL pukey
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
