the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
