I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
