ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
