I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
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