he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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