I molested 6 butterflies tonight
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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