1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
how drunk are you?
Several
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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