I am full of burrito and curiosity
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
