Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
