Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
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