I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
