idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
