And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
