Well apparently he's into motor boating.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you win again, gameday.
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No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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