I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
