omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
