What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
