so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
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The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
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It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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