Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
