Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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