He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
