i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
