I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
