Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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