eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
