On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
