I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
