I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
