What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
