i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
