glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize