You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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