The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
