First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
