It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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