Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize