We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
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beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
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Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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