I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
