i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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