he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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