She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize