is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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