nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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