Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize