My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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