How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Drake has all the answers
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
