bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
