i permit you to call me
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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