i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
ugly people sure do ruin things
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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